I love finding stuff I've been looking for

I went to Best Buy yesterday to buy the new Mindless Self Indulgence CD. I always buy new CDs there because they always have them for $9.99 the first week of release. So while I was there I finally found the deluxe edition of a CD I've been looking for for like...forever. I have the regular edition of the CD, but the deluxe has a DVD with it, so I wanted it. Best Buy had ONE copy of the deluxe edtion. I'm pretty sure I actually went "YAY!" out loud. Wonderful. It was $23, but the DVD made it totally worth it. The new MSI is awesome is well.

Yesterday I also bought the 4th book in a paranormal romance series I've been reading. The book just came out yesterday too. I don't read romance novels often, but this series just sucked me in. It's really good.

I gave my mom her twice-yearly perm this morning. The ends on the bottom in the back are still kind of straight. It's all the medication she's on most likely. I guess we'll just go tighter next itme. Or something.

Close To Home

From cnn.com

SUFFOLK, Virginia (CNN) -- Virginians faced a massive cleanup project Tuesday after at least three tornadoes damaged dozens of homes and injured more than 200 people.

"We have had some injuries. Most of them are minor, so in many ways we are blessed," Suffolk Mayor Linda Johnson said Tuesday.

At least 200 were injured Monday in Suffolk, where a twister destroyed several homes and businesses, said Bob Spieldenner of the Virginia Department of Emergency Management.

About 140 homes were destroyed, damaged or deemed uninhabitable, CNN's Rob Marciano reported from Suffolk.

The storm hit the 138-bed Sentara Obici Hospital, though Spieldenner said the facility was still operational and accepting patients.

A second tornado struck Colonial Heights -- about 60 miles northwest, near Richmond -- injuring at least 18 people, he said.

A third twister damaged several homes near Lawrenceville, about 70 miles south of Richmond, said Bryan Jackson, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service, which confirmed all three tornadoes.

Gov. Tim Kaine declared a Virginia-wide state of emergency as hazardous weather continued through the central part of the state.

The Suffolk twister touched down just before 4 p.m. ET and plowed its way east into Norfolk, damaging scores of homes, stores and cars and downing dozens of trees and power lines, Jackson said.

Video footage from the scene showed roofs torn off homes, cars flipped over, trees snapped in two and a caved-in section of a newly constructed shopping center.

Furniture, fences and mounds of other debris were tossed in streets, parking lots and lawns.

"It sounded like someone shuffling a giant deck of cards or a herd of wild animals coming through. You could feel the house shaking and hear the wind coming in through the cracks in the windows," Jennifer Haines told The Associated Press. "It was so scary I felt like I was having a heart attack."

Weather Channel coverage



This was all just west of Virginia Beach, where I live. I'm feeling pretty lucky today.

So it's Sunday

Nothing terribly interesting happening today. Went to work, did some hair. Almost nothing worth blogging over honestly. But I'm bored, so yeah.

I'm talking to Kai on MSN right now. It's still a bit awkward between us. Then we started talking about music, a love we both have in common, and it's fine at the moment. He just informed me the Justin Chancellor from the band Tool is Norwegian. I didn't know that. Of course he knows these things. Anything about Norwegian musicians, and he's all over it. The funny thing is the he can't STAND Black/Death Metal. Most of those bands come from Norway. He's met a few of them though.

Tool's Ænima cd is amazing. I'm listening to it right now. One of my favorites.

My 27-year-old unemployed friend might be getting a job this week. She's up for a job where her mother works. YAY!

1 week from tonight, I will be seeing Mindless Self Indulgence play at the NorVa. Wooo!

Changed my blog title

I decided "My Random Ramblings" sounded very generic and lame. "The World Through My Eyes" is taken from a lyric from the song Dirty by Korn. It's one of my favorite songs.

I didn't blog when I got home from work last night because I drove home with the windows down in my car and developed a sinus headace in the process. So I just really wasn't in the mood.

We have a radio at work. I've found I'm more productive when I'm listening to music I enjoy. So when I'm working by myself, or if whoever I'm working with doesn't mind, I have the radio on a rock station. And I swear, it almost never fails: whenever we have kids in the salon, the radio station will play something completely inappropriate. Like Big Balls by AC/DC. Or Control by Puddle Of Mudd...you know the song with the bridge that goes "I love the way you look at me/I love the way you smack my ass." Yeah...awkward.

Eh...what the hell

That is my voice comment thing from Snapvine. I've had it posted on my Myspace for a long time, but I haven't gotten any new comments on it in a while. So I figured I'd post it here. So make my day! lol
I can make the voice comments private as well, so not everybody and their mother can hear them.

Mmmm pomegranate

Mike's Hard Pomegranate Lemonade. Oh. My. GOD! Wayyyy better than the Bacardi Pom Mojito. Awesome stuff.

Just sayin'.

ALSO...

Chele's birthday was on Tuesday. As I said in my blog from that day, I left her a comment on her Myspace. Now, this wasn't just some lame, generic comment. It's something I actually spent time on. I found a picture of her favorite drummer, *cough* and added a caption and a bunch of sparkly shit to it to make it all cute. She has her comment moderation on, like we have on here. SHE STILL HASN'T LOOKED AT IT. I even saw her today and asked her if she'd looked at it yet. She said no, but she'd go right home and check it out. She hasn't. I'm starting to feel like the neglected single friend...

I complain too much, dont I? lol

So far so good

I'm in a really good mood today. I went for my walk this morning and the weather was just perfect. Nice weather always boosts my mood. I'm starting to get some sun from my walks too. But I'm getting a tan line on my ankles. I'll have to get some self-tanner or something so I can wear flip-flops without looking stupid.

I'm slightly annoyed that I forgot to stop at the store and get orange juice, so I only was able to have half a glass this morning. I'll have to get some on my way home from work.

I'm sure I'll have more interesting stuff to write when I get home from work tonight.

Not fair

So I finally have a day when I don't think I thought about Kai at all. Then what happens? He signs on MSN. Not terrible. We're still friends and all. But it can't be as simple as that, of course not. He wants to see if his webcam is working. Which I didn't think was too unreasonable, considering he did used to have problems with it a lot. So I say "sure, let me plug mine in." So we're on webcam together for the first time since we broke up. His hair is long enough now where he can tie it back. He looked really good. Then he smiled at me. My heart melted a little. In that moment, I missed him so fucking much. I can't help but wonder if it showed. At one point he looked kind of sad. I wonder if he felt it too. I know I need to get over him. It's way past time. I know staying friends with him might not be the smartest thing ever. It's certainly not helping me get over him any faster. But I'm working on it.


Ok...this just made me laugh for 10 solid minutes. Totally made my day.

Hooray for days off work

I've walked a total of 4 miles today (2 this morning, 2 this afternoon). I did all my laundry and vacuumed the upstairs part of the house. Tomorrow I'll do the downstairs. Mom has problems with her back, so I happily do all the vacuuming. Ok...maybe not "happily." I don't like vacuuming at all. But I'd rather do it than have Mom risk hurting her back.

I texted Chele to wish her a happy birthday and left her a comment on her Myspace. We had tentative plans to go see Otep play at Steppin' Out tonight. She was going to get the tickets since I'd gotten the MSI tickets. She never got the tickets and she made plans with her boyfriend. Yes, it's HER birthday and she gets to do what she wants. But she did have plans with me first, tentative or not. Granted, she wasn't with her boyfriend yet when we talked about it and things changed. But still....I wanted to go to the concert. And...I miss her. But I'm not going to make her pay me back for her MSI ticket. It'll be her birthday present. Like how she paid for my ticket as a birthday present when we saw Rob Zombie.

Now I'm texting my friend Jade in AZ comparing our OCD traits. She's way worse than me.

I'm also listening to Marilyn Manson. Will he EVER make anything as good as Antichrist Superstar again? Sadly, I doubt it.

Later I will be watching American Idol. It's Andrew Lloyd Webber night. I'm looking forward to it a lot. GO JASON CASTRO!!

Some random dude just IMd me on AIM and wanted to cyber. What the fuck? I didn't know people even did that anymore. Not cyber. I know people do that. I mean IM random people for it.

*shudder*

By popular demand....

...and by "popular" I mean one person asked for it. Here's the poem I wrote yesterday about Kai. It's not great, honestly. I've written better. It also has no title as of yet. I was considering calling it "Lidelsen," which is Norwegian for "the pain." The significance being that Kai is Norwegian.

I should be happy
That it was a lie.
But the lie was made to hurt.
And it did,
More than what I thought
Was the truth.
I asked you why.
"I don't know."
To make me jealous?
"Maybe yes."
You say you still care
But you do this to me.
Once upon a time
We were happy
So in love...
When it was taken away
You didn't fight for us;
Gave up so fast.
I trusted you
With my heart...
Thought you were different.
But you didn't love me enough;
That much is obvious.
I want to forgive,
But I can never forget
All the pain...
The heartbreak...
The broken promises.
Don't want to hate you.
Don't want to love you.
Need to let it all go.

I really need to stop feeling sorry for myself...

I spent all day at work today in a shit mood. I don't know if it was the crappy weather or what. It was slow, being a Monday, so I didn't really have anything to do but sit there and think.

I wrote this emo-ish omg-my-heart-is-broken poem about Kai that I was gonna post here. I've since decided not to. (If you want to read it, feel free to ask.)

Then I got to thinking about a lot of my friends either don't make time for me anymore, or have nothing in common with me anymore, or just don't stay in close contact anymore. I was just generally sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I REALLY need to snap out of this shit. I hate feeling ths way. I was just feeling really lonely. But, I do feel better now than I did earlier today. Which means I'll be even better tomorrow.

Disclaimer: I am NOT anti-Christian

I seem to have gotten involved in a religious discussion on a message board I post on. Someone started a thread about these Christian pamphlets that he'd been given. One of them said:

"Do you ever look at another person and have lustful thoughts? If you do, you are commiting adultery.Do you really think that the Lord God will allow such wretched adulterous and sinful people as yourself into Heaven? "

A bit ridiculous, huh? After the discussion sparked off, I made a post about how I frequently get harassed by Christians telling me I'm going to Hell because I am Wiccan and wear a pentacle around my neck. One of the more obnoxious posters commented that "Wicca is so 90s." What-the-fuck-ever, dude. Then I was asked by someone else exactly what some of the practices and beliefs are, so I copy/pasted part of an article from wicca.com because I'm not good at explaining. She keeps asking more questions and I kinda just wanna say "look, google is your friend, seriously." And a couple other posters pretty much started picking apart what I posted and basically calling it silly. That's the kind of thing I find annoying as hell. If someone else believes differently from me, I'm certainly not going to put it down. That's not my place. I say, whatever faith gives you peace, that's the one you should follow.

An' harm ye none, do what ye will.

On a happier note, I went to Bath & Body Works after work today, and bought myself some Irresistable Apple shower gel, lotion and body spray. Yum!

Today is a full moon. (Esbat)

An esbat is a ritual observance of the full moon within Wicca and other Wiccan-influenced forms of Neopaganism. Some groups extend these celebrations to include the dark moon, or even the first and last quarters. Traditionally, the Sabbats are times of celebration, while magical work is done at the esbats.

In "The Witches' Goddess", Janet and Stewart Farrar note that the Babylonians considered the new moon to be the time when the Goddess was menstruating, and it was bad luck to do work on that day. In Jewish culture, this is the first day of the month, called Rosh Chodesh, and is still observed by some as a holiday for women.

The term esbat is probably a recent adoption, dating to the writings of Margaret Murray. It is derived from French esbat (modern ébat), meaning roughly "frolic, romp", with some sexual connotations. This term was used during the European witch trials to describe the supposed behaviour of witches engaging in Devil worship, and it has been claimed that Murray was misled by the word's coincidental resemblance to the word sabbat.

Blessed Be.

I know I've ranted about this already, but...

...can't she at least PRETEND she counts the coin change in the drawer when she opens the salon?

When I went to close out tonight, the paperwork from this morning said the coin change in the drawer was 26 cents at opening. Ok...when I closed last night there was a roll of quarters AND a roll of pennies. That's $10.50 right there, not including the loose change that was in there.

WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET 26 CENTS FROM?

It doesn't make even the tiniest amount of sense. And it also makes it look like I counted the drawer wrong the night before when I closed. I double-count everything. Every time. It was not wrong.

Other than that, it was a good day.

*insert intersting title here*

My friend in Arizona (who I mentioned in the last blog) texted me this morning at 6am. Why, do you ask? It was 3am her time and she was awake and bored. I don't know why she thought I would be awake at 6am. I'm NEVER awake at 6am. I also never turn my phone off. I might start. I still don't know what it was she wanted to talk to me about last night. We've been texting off and on all morning and she hasn't mentioned it. So I guess it wasn't really that important to begin with.

I really don't have much else to write at this point. I'm sure there'll be more to tell after I get home from work tonight...

Trying new things

Right now I am drinking a Bacardi Silver Pomegranate Mojito. I've never had it before. I must say, it's pretty tasty.

I also tried the SoBe Life Water, as opposed to my usual Vitamin Water because someone said it was better. I got the pomegranate cherry flavor, because I (obviously) like pomegranate flavored stuff. Well...apparently he is always right. Damn him. (lol)

It was another slow day at work today. It was a bit better than yesterday though. One of my regulars came in for me. I've been doing her hair for about 5 years. She won't let anybody but me touch her hair. She's very sweet and I like her very much. She also always gives me a fat tip, which is always awesome, especially on a slow day.

On my break I went to get a pair of shoes I've had my eye on. They no longer had my size. Grr...

As I was getting off work a friend of mine in Arizona texted me and asked if she could call me. She said she needed some advice. I've known this girl for a long time. She's been through absolute hell in the past year, things I don't feel at liberty to talk about on here. Things are looking up for her finally. But it seems like no matter how good things are, she looks for something to be wrong. I understand that because of everything she's been through, she's a little paranoid. So I told (texted) her I was out with a friend and that tonight was not a good time to call me. Obviously, I am at home. I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it tonight. I feel kind of bad about lying to her. But I know if it was super-urgent and/or important, she would have told me. She was just like...oh...ok, no problem! So it couldn't have been anything huge. But still....

I have a feeling this will be a short one...

...because I had quite the boring day. Work was D E A D. I think I did like, 3 haircuts and two eyebrow waxes. In seven hours. I spent the rest of the time reading magazines and playing solitaire on my iPod. I need a new sudoku book.

It's 10:16pm, and I'm hungry. I'll probably have a bowl of cereal before I go to bed. It's really the only thing I can eat this late at night without feeling guilty about it. Chocolate Chex are really awesome, by the way. It might just be the best non-super-sugary cereal ever.

My best friend Chele has got herself a boyfriend. She's really happy. I'm happy for her. The last few men in her life have treated her like shit, so it's about time she found a good one. But I think she might invite him to come to see Mindless Self Indulgence with us, since we have an extra ticket because Kate moved back to Cali. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. I kinda wanted it to be just us girls. But then again, if he drives, that means I can drink. Chele doesn't drive, so whenever we go out I can't drink much. So...I don't know. We'll see how it goes.

My friend Kelly (who I talk to on MSN) keeps showing me anime stuff. She knows I don't like anime. Why does she think I care? Seriously...

Time for stuff that makes me happy...

...just like I promised.

I'm a die-hard music lover. Music is everything to me. It gets me through all the bullshit that life throws at me. So I decided I would share my 5 favorite bands, post my favorite live performances of each, and talk about why I love them.

First and foremost is Metallica. I've loved this band for over 20 years. They are the reason I listen to heavy music. Nobody will ever be as amazing as Metallica were in their heyday. No. Fucking. Body.
I give you the awesome metalness that is Master Of Puppets.



Next is Korn. I've been into them since '97-ish. I'm mostly fond of their older music (Issues and prior), but I enjoy their newer efforts as well. They hold a very special place in my heart. I'll go months without listening to them at all, but I always come back.
This is my favorite song, Dirty.



I have no idea how long I've been a fan of Rob Zombie. I know it's been since his old band, White Zombie. I think he's fucking brilliant as a musician, songrwriter and film-maker.
This is Dragula from January 6th of this year. It's a fan-made video, so the quality isn't perfect. But I was at this show and it was fucking awesome.



I've loved Linkin Park since they first came out. I've seen them live twice. They are coming again this summer, but I'm not sure I'm going to be able to go. =[
This is my favorite song, Papercut, from their Live In Texas dvd.



I've only been a 30 Seconds To Mars fan for a year-and-a-half-ish. I love them for many reasons. The lyrics are relatable, which is what got me into them in the first place. I love Jared's voice, his energy, his slight insanity (haha)....and he's not too bad to look at either. lol
The motherfuckin' Fantasy. I'll admit it...this song makes me kind of happy in my pants.



Other bands I easily could have included are Mudvayne, Marilyn Manson, Static-X, Hellyeah, Pantera....I could go on...and on.

Gah! He's so friggin' infuriating!

So I kinda got into it with Kai today. We were chatting on MSN and everything was going nicely. We were kidding around with each other kind of flirty like. And it just...mutated.


Me: i knew it...you still want me hehe
Kai: hehehe hell yeah I do
Kai: you don't??
Me: umm...DUH
Me: of course i do
Kai: ooooh.
Kai: really?
Me: yes really
Kai: I thought that you didn't..
Me: why would you think that?
Kai: I dont know.. just got that impressesion I guess
Me: well i'll put it this way...
Me: if it was up to me, we'd still be together
Kai:really?
Me: yes really
Me: i didn't want to break up
Kai: well yeah. I would like us to still be together and all that. but then I would feel like I was holding you back..
Me: i would have waited for you, and you know that
Kai: I do
Me: you didn't want to wait
Kai: well it would have been to long..
Me: well then stop saying your reason for breaking up with me was because you didn't want to hold me back, when you were the one who didn't want to be held back
Me: that came across harsher than i meant it to...
Kai: I understand..
Me: the fact that you'd started seeing someone else when we hadn't even been broken up for 2 months makes me feel like our realtionship wasn't as important to you as it was to me
Me: that might not be fact, but it's how i feel
Kai: thats not it.. I'm not seeing her, we're just friends.. And I did take our relationship seriously
Me: i asked you if you were dating her, you said you were
Kai: well I'm not..
Me: then i wish you'd said that when i asked you, because that really hurt
Kai: I'm sorry
Me: were you trying to make me jealous or something?
Kai: no not really, but then again yeah..
Me: why? i don't get it
Me: i wouldn't have done that to you
Kai: I don't know really.. I regret it tho
Me: i never thought you'd ever lie to me
Me: i've always trusted you
Kai: It wasn't a lie..
Me: you said you were dating her
Kai: nooo.. not dating her. just hanging out with her..
Me: i asked you a few weeks ago if you were dating her and you said yes
Me: and now you're saying no
Kai: well I said wrong then..
Me: thats what i'm getting at...i don't know why you would tell me you were if you weren't
Kai: I'm sorry.

And then he said he had to go. So we didn't really get to finish the conversation. Why do guys do that? Why would he lie to me? I'm really angry and disappionted. This is worse than when I thought he was dating her....

Edited for update: We talked some more. He apologized about a billion times for putting me through that. He said he didn't know what he was thinking at the time. As for myself, I don't handle break-ups very well at all. I never have. I do want to stay friends with him though, so I guess I just have to deal with it.

I have no idea why I'm using this blog to bitch about ex-boyfriends. I'll post good happy stuff at some point. I promise. =]

Meh...it's monday

I don't really have anything to rant about today for a change.

Oh wait...yes I do.

My $2 bottle of vitamin water that I was drinking on the way home from work today spilled all over the inside of my car. It was almost full. That was annoying.

I'm getting some weird mixed signals from an ex-boyfriend. Not Kai. This one is Terry. He was before Kai. Terry and I had a bad break-up. We argued a lot. I'll admit that was mostly my fault. I have a hard time letting things go. But then, he wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear. (lol) Anyway, He's beeing all nice to me again all of the sudden. We haven't really talked in quite a while. I'm not really sure what to think. Is he just being friendly? Does he still have feelings for me? Do I still have feelings for him? Am I reading too much into it? Probably....

But on a good note: I won a new digital camera in a contest at work. I got it today. And it came packaged in....

wait for it....



bubble wrap!

Eat your fucking heart out

I took this picture a couple of days after I found out that my ex-boyfriend had started seeing someone else barely two months after we broke up. I thought it was a damn good picture, so I put it up on my Myspace thinking to myself, "Ha! See what you gave up, motherfucker?" Petty, I know. But I couldn't help myself. I mean, it's not like we were just some fling. We were talking marriage, kids, everything. I feel like that by moving on so quickly he's totally trivializing our entire relationship, and it pisses me off.

(The one person I know that will probably read this blog has been the person I've ranted to quite a bit about this already. So...sorry Jared! lol)

What set me off today about the whole thing was stupid really. See, Kai (the ex-bf) was the touring guitarist for a band in Norway when they did their final tour before they broke up. There was a live CD produced on that tour, which Kai sent me a copy of when we first got together. One of the songs from the CD randomly came up on my iPod while I was on my walk this morning. It was one of the songs he did backing vocals on as well. Hearing his voice, I quickly went from sad to hurt to angry. Now, he and I are still friends. We still talk. We were friends before we got together, so we have that foundation. He's considerate enough to not talk about the new girl much at all. But I know she exists. And it bugs me. I just feel like it's too soon. Not that I haven't done my share of flirting or what have you. I have. But I'm not DATING anyone. I don't feel ready yet. And it hurts me that he's moved on. But I'll get over it. I know I will.

Devil horns, co-workers and music in my head

So I heard this song on the radio on the way to work today. It was a song I love, so it was awesome. But it's been stuck in my head ever since. All. Day. Long. I even caught myself humming it at work. And it's not even the whole song. It's one single line. You'd think listening to other stuff would get it out of my head. Nope. It's still there. On the bright side, at least it's not a song I hate.

I have this one co-worker. She's a very sweet lady and I like her very much as a person, and she's a good stylist. But when she opens the salon in the mornings and counts the cash drawer, she never bothers to count the coin change. That, of course, makes the drawer count wrong when I close at night. When it comes to my job, I'm a stickler for accuracy. So naturally, this constant inaccuracy annoys the shit out of me.

I was selling some products to this woman at work today, who had her approximately-5-year-old daughter with her. The little girl was talking to me and everything. Really sweet kid. When they left I said bye-bye to her and threw up a peace sign, which is a habit of mine. In return, the kid threw me the devil horns \m/ which automatically made her the most aweosme kid of the day. =]

*sings*
From yeeeeeeesterdayyyyyy it's cooooooming!

Yup, still there. *sigh*

I really should have titled my blog page....

"Cherlyn's Complainers Corner"

Seriously.

So here is my bitch of the day.

I have this one friend I know online. She's a really cool person and I love her to death. But she's 27 years old, lives with her parents and hasn't had a job in 4 years. All she does all day long is sit on her ass at the computer, watch anime, and write pornographic fan fictions about said anime. Then she complains about how she's always bored and has no money.

GET A FUCKING JOB OR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

The way I see it, you have no right to bitch about your station in life unless you're trying to change it. She is not. She says she needs to get a job, but doesn't do anything about trying to get one. It just fucking annoys me to no end.

Can someone explain this to me?

Why would someone watch a television show every single year, yet constantly bitch about it?

My mom and I watch American Idol every year. (Yeah, yeah, I know. Shut up.) Every week of the competition, she finds something to complain about. Every. Single. Week. This week, it was the fact that inspirational songs are naive. She says that having a belief in a higher power, or even in yourself, doesn't mean squat at the end of the day. I strongly disagree with her. It means a lot to a lot of people. Or she'll have something to say about someone's preformance or what someone's wearing or what have you. I find it really annoying.

There's also the fact that she really dislikes one of the contestants that I really DO like. But that's a matter of opinion.

Ok so....

I've never been much of a blogger. But I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon.

A little about me....
I'm divorced. No children. Currently single.
My mother is a widow and I live with her. We're very close. She's the most important person in my life.
I'm a hair stylist with 15 years in the industry. I love what I do and I'm damn good at it.
I'm a die-hard music lover. I like a little bit of everything, but I primarily listen to hard rock/metal. I go to concerts whenever I can. I've been told I'm "too old" to listen to hard rock. To that I say "fuck you."
I curse a lot. Probably too much.

Anything else you might want to know, feel free to ask.